Retailers to offer 100% off after xmas sale

In an effort to kick start the economy, retailers are planning a massive sale for the post Xmas season. All goods will be offered at a 100% percent discount. With most of the workers laid off and the corporate division in hiding, stores will be staffed directly by the illiterate children that produced the goods in sweatshops in exploited poverty stricken countries. They tend not to notice the lack of labor laws since they can't read. The plan is to somehow lure consumers to the shops and although they won't make a profit from the goods given away, parking fees and corndogs should produce hundreds of dollars.